Parent prayers and blessings are often limited to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. We inadvertently communicate that once a year–when the calendar dictates–we can celebrate these roles with gratitude and a well-earned day off from parenting. But outside these two secular days, the vocational work of parenting largely goes unacknowledged in many churches. We take this vocation for granted, assuming that almost everyone present just kind of “does it” on top of their other work, so a casual mention here and there in preaching or prayer will suffice. 

This approach communicates that parenting is a task, not a calling. 

While other vocations are being prayed over and talked about in terms of the call God has placed on them, and the work that God equips them to do, parents, particularly those who do it full time, find themselves wondering if their labor is, indeed, in vain. It is neither paid nor volunteer work. It has no opportunity for promotion or advancement (or even retirement!). There are no holidays or PTO. This is a job that is certainly not the same as a calling. It is simply…work. And we don’t speak of “work” in our worship…..

There are several important things to note here before we go any further. We want to name and acknowledge up front that parenting is complex on many different levels. Because of this, many churches have actively made the decision to just not talk about it at all. Some parents are estranged from their children. Parents mourn the death of a child, young or old. Parents remember a child they gave up for adoption, or remember the parents who gave their child life. Others long to be parents but that dream has not been fulfilled. We unintentionally have wounded people in our pews with well-intentioned acknowledgements, inviting “all the parents to stand up for a round of applause.” 

Beyond the singling-out effect, the complexities of parenting come from the fact that it is not something you do, but something you are. Of course, this is true for all vocations to some degree, but parenting is a distinct identity that is as physical as it is spiritual. When our children laugh or cry, we don’t simply hear it. We feel it. In a vocation that is so deeply emotional and embodied, the opportunities for spiritual joy and heartbreak are tremendous.  The highs and lows come in the form of emotional rollercoasters, the plunging depths of fear and failure, the soaring heights of achievement and milestones. These aren’t moments of doing. They are meaning-making. 

So. Why not strategically ignore mentioning parenting in our worship and preaching? That would certainly be the easier route. The one sentence mentioned on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day will suffice. 

Yes, and….. If we desire to be a church that is vocationally-conversant, we as leaders don’t get to pick and choose which vocations count. If we hope that every member of our congregation, young and old, employed and unemployed, parent or not, comes before God in honest dialogue about the joys and the struggles of their calling, parenting matters. If we hope that every member in the same way leaves our building sent back into the place where God not only calls, but equips them to serve, parenting must matter. Not as the thing some people do, but as a deeply important part of who they are. 

In this new series of blogs in the month of April, we are going to offer you an abundance of new resources on how to reimagine the vocation of parenting in your church’s worshipping life together. We will introduce you to ways to bless and commission parents and grandparents. We will give you resources to honor the fact that parenting doesn’t only look like traditional households – it’s generational, cultural, and an ecclesial calling. We have laments for the incredibly painful, and ways to blow trumpets of praise for the beautiful. Stay tuned for several weeks worth of resources. We hope that they fuel your imagination for how you and your church might reimagine and re-engage the holy vocational calling of parenthood. 

A Prayer for Parents and Grandparents (by Travis Jamieson)

God,
Today, we lift up those in our congregation who are parents or grandparents.
We celebrate the small and big moments that parents get to be a part of in their children’s lives. From their birth and baptism to their high school graduation and wedding. It’s a joy to see a child take their first steps, profess their faith in Christ, and make choices that embody Your wisdom.

However, in addition to sharing in the joys of children, parents, and grandparents also share in their woes. We lament for our children when they experience pain, all the more so, when the parent shares responsibility for that pain. We long that all children would feel loved, and we lament that there are times when they don’t.

We repent of the moments when parents let their unrealistic expectations prevent them from encouraging their children. We repent of the times when fear controls us and we don’t engage in our children’s pain. Help us, Lord, to see, know, and care for the children in our lives with the grace of our heavenly father in Heaven.

Give all parents your wisdom, discernment, and grace in raising their children as well as navigating relationships with adult children. Give humility when we are confronted by our shortcomings. Give us perseverance when we feel worn out from the task you’ve given us.

In all these things, we acknowledge that your faithfulness extends to all generations. So, may we be active participants in passing on that faithfulness to the next generation. May we know that each diaper changed, each word of advice given, each time we embrace our children, we are faithfully living out the calling you have given us.

Bless us all as we participate in this vocation and many other vocations this coming week. For Jesus’ sake, we pray, Amen.

A Prayer for a Parent of a Child with a Disability (by Joanna Marsh)

Dear Lord,
     Many days are beautiful.
     Some days are wonderful.
     There are days that are extremely difficult.

On those days, may I  believe and rest in the truth that both I and my children are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

I lament that unmet developmental milestones and visible traits may look like weaknesses to the world’s eye. Lord, these feel like heavy burdens that must be overcome within our world, within our society, and sometimes within myself. 

And yet, You created us in your image
     gifting us uniquely and filling us with Your strength. 

May I embrace the way that You created me
     and may I also embrace the way You created my children.
Let us have faith that You will see us through our doubts and second guesses. 

May we hold fast to Your ways and be full of courage, knowing that our success shouldn’t be measured by how well we blend with others but how we stand out because of Your love.

Slowly, slowly, your work is happening here. May it be so.  Amen.

Psalm 90 Adaptation

Much of the work of parenting is done with our hands – from driving a car, to preparing meals, to filling out field trip forms, and fixing the leaky sink. Psalm 90 closes with a petition from the Psalmist that God would establish the work of our hands. This short phrase acts as both a prayer and a vow. In it we recognize it is God who does the work in us and through us, but we also are charged with readying ourselves, preparing, and participating. Use the following template to intersperse moments of parenting with the spoken vow, establish the work of our hands.

Leader: In all the work that we do,
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us!

In [making breakfast, brushing children’s teeth, gathering backpacks,] Establish the work of our hands!

In [replying to emails, running errands, reconciling siblings,] Establish the work of our hands!

In [listening to the woes and wins of the day, washing laundry, helping with algebra,] Establish the work of our hands!

Leader: Lord of our harvest, whatever our harvest may be, send your blessing upon it that it may be beautiful in your eyes. And since we have received the good news of Jesus, may all of our work -from sowing to reaping- be rooted and built up in him and established in the faith. In the name of Jesus Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we pray to you, the Triune God. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us! Amen.